Long-term performance in health or life rarely comes down to one decision, but to the consistency of small systems - sleep, movement, recovery, and self-awareness, that quietly shape how well you function under everyday pressure.
I wanted to do a lot of things meaning content creation around running, writing and other n number of things. I haven't done any of it. WHY? Because my internal monologue is a big time bully brother. Every time I finish a race I haven't felt that happiness/elation I see on other people's face because I always have missed the standard/mark big time or you can call under performed for years. Which leads to me calling myself a big time fraud, a big time failure, who the fuck you think you are and other barrage of nasty & self sabotaging things.
You call your shots and think you will achieve but suck at races big time.
But this is what I have understood over the period of last couple of years:
No one is going to value you more than you value yourself. One has to understand this & have a copy of this written in their cognition. Nobody outside you can make you feel good, feel content in the long haul. One should value themselves be it physically, mentally, financially, professionally and on all levels like their life depends on it and try to never let the guard down on themselves. We can't sell ourselves short at any point of time.
As Naval Ravikant said-Today, the way we think you get peace is by resolving all your external problems, but there are unlimited external problems. So, the only way to actually get peace on the inside is by giving up this idea of problems.
There is no point where you will be done solving external problems. Once you fix one, another appears. One should also come to terms that Peace is an internal state (peace from mind), not an external circumstance.
As Blaise Pascal also said- All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone. This is just a sentence comprised of about 15 words stringed but the weight of this single sentence is quite heavy. I don't think so many people can do this and on the other hand feel okay. Nothing means even no meditation because see & observe what your monkey mind is doing and how it is creating stories about almost every thing.
All of life revolves on Impermanence and the only certainty is Uncertainty in life. People will come into your life be it your parents, siblings, friends from your childhood, relatives or be it who so ever they are and one day they will go. Some will die, some will outgrow you, some will be outgrown by you, with some you will have tussle, some will seem to be quite toxic & who over power, some will go in one or the other way. Who is left the, YOU. You have to have a pretty good relationship with yourself or I would try to say to have the best relationship with yourself.
When an individual thrives, the ripple effect gets shown in other people's lives as well as they uplift them.
For the last 4-5 years, I have understood nobody in general is by your side 100% of the time, so be present & try to be at peace with your own self. We can't feel our lives void with going to movies with others, going on vacations and coming back and feeling the same emptiness because one is looking for the solutions in the outside environment where as one needs to look within and talk to themselves about what they really want and what trade offs they can be at peace in the long term. Stop looking for solutions on the outside and always try to invert, all of life thrives on Extreme Ownership.
What stands out most in your reply is how aware you’ve become of the voice in your own head and how much power it’s had over your identity for years.
A lot of people think poor performance is the hardest part. Often it’s not. It’s the internal dialogue that follows it - as you have said here.
You described something I think many performers quietly experience: tying self-worth to outcomes. If the race goes badly, suddenly you feel bad, or, worse, fundamentally not enough.
What’s encouraging in your reflection though is that beneath all the frustration, you’ve already started recognising something important: peace, confidence and self-respect can’t permanently come from external results because external results are unstable by nature.
You also touched on something central to performance coaching: the relationship you have with yourself determines almost everything else. The athlete, creator or person who constantly tears themselves apart rarely performs freely for long.
Self-coaching is not pretending failure doesn’t hurt. It’s learning how to respond to yourself after failure in a way that still allows growth, consistency and belief.
The fact you can articulate all of this with such depth probably means you’re further along in that process than you might realise.
Long-term performance in health or life rarely comes down to one decision, but to the consistency of small systems - sleep, movement, recovery, and self-awareness, that quietly shape how well you function under everyday pressure.
100%
I wanted to do a lot of things meaning content creation around running, writing and other n number of things. I haven't done any of it. WHY? Because my internal monologue is a big time bully brother. Every time I finish a race I haven't felt that happiness/elation I see on other people's face because I always have missed the standard/mark big time or you can call under performed for years. Which leads to me calling myself a big time fraud, a big time failure, who the fuck you think you are and other barrage of nasty & self sabotaging things.
You call your shots and think you will achieve but suck at races big time.
But this is what I have understood over the period of last couple of years:
No one is going to value you more than you value yourself. One has to understand this & have a copy of this written in their cognition. Nobody outside you can make you feel good, feel content in the long haul. One should value themselves be it physically, mentally, financially, professionally and on all levels like their life depends on it and try to never let the guard down on themselves. We can't sell ourselves short at any point of time.
As Naval Ravikant said-Today, the way we think you get peace is by resolving all your external problems, but there are unlimited external problems. So, the only way to actually get peace on the inside is by giving up this idea of problems.
There is no point where you will be done solving external problems. Once you fix one, another appears. One should also come to terms that Peace is an internal state (peace from mind), not an external circumstance.
As Blaise Pascal also said- All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone. This is just a sentence comprised of about 15 words stringed but the weight of this single sentence is quite heavy. I don't think so many people can do this and on the other hand feel okay. Nothing means even no meditation because see & observe what your monkey mind is doing and how it is creating stories about almost every thing.
All of life revolves on Impermanence and the only certainty is Uncertainty in life. People will come into your life be it your parents, siblings, friends from your childhood, relatives or be it who so ever they are and one day they will go. Some will die, some will outgrow you, some will be outgrown by you, with some you will have tussle, some will seem to be quite toxic & who over power, some will go in one or the other way. Who is left the, YOU. You have to have a pretty good relationship with yourself or I would try to say to have the best relationship with yourself.
When an individual thrives, the ripple effect gets shown in other people's lives as well as they uplift them.
For the last 4-5 years, I have understood nobody in general is by your side 100% of the time, so be present & try to be at peace with your own self. We can't feel our lives void with going to movies with others, going on vacations and coming back and feeling the same emptiness because one is looking for the solutions in the outside environment where as one needs to look within and talk to themselves about what they really want and what trade offs they can be at peace in the long term. Stop looking for solutions on the outside and always try to invert, all of life thrives on Extreme Ownership.
What stands out most in your reply is how aware you’ve become of the voice in your own head and how much power it’s had over your identity for years.
A lot of people think poor performance is the hardest part. Often it’s not. It’s the internal dialogue that follows it - as you have said here.
You described something I think many performers quietly experience: tying self-worth to outcomes. If the race goes badly, suddenly you feel bad, or, worse, fundamentally not enough.
What’s encouraging in your reflection though is that beneath all the frustration, you’ve already started recognising something important: peace, confidence and self-respect can’t permanently come from external results because external results are unstable by nature.
You also touched on something central to performance coaching: the relationship you have with yourself determines almost everything else. The athlete, creator or person who constantly tears themselves apart rarely performs freely for long.
Self-coaching is not pretending failure doesn’t hurt. It’s learning how to respond to yourself after failure in a way that still allows growth, consistency and belief.
The fact you can articulate all of this with such depth probably means you’re further along in that process than you might realise.