That's a tough baptism and I hope the captain reassessed his interaction for his own future growth. Teams aren't just strong because of the 11 or 15 that walk onto the pitch. Real teams go so much deeper and engage everyone. I spoke to someone several years ago who supported Exeter Rugby under Rob Baxter. He said how all support staff were made to feel part of the journey too. Big pictures.
Good question/thought. I don't know. He went on to be one of my biggest cheerleaders, so I guess so. I think, in the context, there were only 3 of out of the 12 prem clubs that were women in those roles, so I think there was a lot of deep seated suspicion of women who wanted to work in rugby. Thankfully, with the success and promotion of women's sports in general I think it has helped a little in moving that forward. You're right though. Some clubs see everyone as part of the 'team' - which is by far the best approach.
Great story, I played rugby when a was young, not many women were part of the club, in Argentina still as Amateur sport but back in the day I remember one of my coaches saying talking about the only manager woman "what a woman can said or teach about winning or losing, eh nahuel?" (one of my friends) and then he laugh. Even that I was 16 years old I was full of anger, but that guy was an imbecil. I know how tough and unwelcome those enviroment can be. I am glad you can take away that experiencie, take lessons an shared it with us. Cheers!
Everything behind the scenes is quite tricky and there are layers of unseen things going on.
Nobody owes us anything is what we should keep us preaching to ourselves because if we think someone owes us this or that in the very first instance then it is just our expectations and expectations are some sort of premeditated resentments which then leads to misery which wasn't there. It is all because of our expectations. Everything almost we have to earn as nothing is owed to us. The way consistency & compounding works
A lot of the times right now I feel like I don't belong to the room but sometimes you have to show self belief in yourself even when there is no prior evidence to back. I have understood that speaking loudly has to be the last resort, one has to be calm & composed while dealing with any kind of situation/circumstance. Being cam lets us view the things from a lot of angles which lets us trouble shoot that very moment but with anger or speaking loudly one's viewpoint for sure gets narrowed down as their cognition's energy/time is mostly taken up by the anger.
Thank you for your comment. Another wise and powerful one. I like this a lot: ‘our expectations and expectations are some sort of premeditated resentments which then leads to misery which wasn't there’. It’s so true. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this story. Although I certainly can't say I've been in your exact situation, and kudos to you for how you handled it, I have experienced the uncomfortable feeling that maybe I shouldn't have been in the room.
For an introvert with self confidence issues, that kind of feeling would either throw me deeper into silence or, as you said, try to prove people wrong loudly.
Only with time, experience, and learning from others was I able to somewhat overcome the anxiety that almost ruined me.
Thank you for sharing your message too. A few comments you have made have got me thinking - so, watch this space for content that directly addresses it. When it's live, I'd love to know your thoughts.
That's a tough baptism and I hope the captain reassessed his interaction for his own future growth. Teams aren't just strong because of the 11 or 15 that walk onto the pitch. Real teams go so much deeper and engage everyone. I spoke to someone several years ago who supported Exeter Rugby under Rob Baxter. He said how all support staff were made to feel part of the journey too. Big pictures.
Good question/thought. I don't know. He went on to be one of my biggest cheerleaders, so I guess so. I think, in the context, there were only 3 of out of the 12 prem clubs that were women in those roles, so I think there was a lot of deep seated suspicion of women who wanted to work in rugby. Thankfully, with the success and promotion of women's sports in general I think it has helped a little in moving that forward. You're right though. Some clubs see everyone as part of the 'team' - which is by far the best approach.
In fairness, his future support of you speaks volumes. Perhaps that was ‘his’ way and to see who responded.
Great story, I played rugby when a was young, not many women were part of the club, in Argentina still as Amateur sport but back in the day I remember one of my coaches saying talking about the only manager woman "what a woman can said or teach about winning or losing, eh nahuel?" (one of my friends) and then he laugh. Even that I was 16 years old I was full of anger, but that guy was an imbecil. I know how tough and unwelcome those enviroment can be. I am glad you can take away that experiencie, take lessons an shared it with us. Cheers!
Everything behind the scenes is quite tricky and there are layers of unseen things going on.
Nobody owes us anything is what we should keep us preaching to ourselves because if we think someone owes us this or that in the very first instance then it is just our expectations and expectations are some sort of premeditated resentments which then leads to misery which wasn't there. It is all because of our expectations. Everything almost we have to earn as nothing is owed to us. The way consistency & compounding works
A lot of the times right now I feel like I don't belong to the room but sometimes you have to show self belief in yourself even when there is no prior evidence to back. I have understood that speaking loudly has to be the last resort, one has to be calm & composed while dealing with any kind of situation/circumstance. Being cam lets us view the things from a lot of angles which lets us trouble shoot that very moment but with anger or speaking loudly one's viewpoint for sure gets narrowed down as their cognition's energy/time is mostly taken up by the anger.
Thank you for your comment. Another wise and powerful one. I like this a lot: ‘our expectations and expectations are some sort of premeditated resentments which then leads to misery which wasn't there’. It’s so true. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this story. Although I certainly can't say I've been in your exact situation, and kudos to you for how you handled it, I have experienced the uncomfortable feeling that maybe I shouldn't have been in the room.
For an introvert with self confidence issues, that kind of feeling would either throw me deeper into silence or, as you said, try to prove people wrong loudly.
Only with time, experience, and learning from others was I able to somewhat overcome the anxiety that almost ruined me.
Thank you for sharing your message too. A few comments you have made have got me thinking - so, watch this space for content that directly addresses it. When it's live, I'd love to know your thoughts.